I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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