Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
