just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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