I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
