they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
