i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
