he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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