All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
