I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
