We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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