with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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