I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
