Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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