we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Randomize
