okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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