I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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