My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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