Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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