Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
