I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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