Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
