What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
