I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
