White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize