Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
