I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
