what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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