I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success