i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize