So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I am midnight drunk by noon
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
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Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
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did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities