apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
