One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
