does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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