Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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