The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
