i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
