It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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