I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
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She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
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Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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