I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
