This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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