Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
