We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
wow bdsm is so cute
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
