he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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