I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
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Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
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You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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