Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
