I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
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