you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
