Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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