Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
