Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
