garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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