Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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