i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
