If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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