I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
