No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
