Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
