On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
