the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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