dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
