phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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