he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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