I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
