she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
