so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
