so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
