Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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