Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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