u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
