Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
