Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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